Reference: "Brain Wave Diary" (7 March 2000)

Know the ending - Ruin the story

…………………"Don't read the ending, it will ruin the entire story." So I was often told as a youngster.

Invariably I jumped with guilt as yet again I was caught leafing through the last few pages of any book I ever picked up. To this very day I am inclined to read newspapers and magazines from the back to the front. Conversely, I hardly ever stay to watch the ending of movies or episodes of sit-coms and other serialized entertainment. Why? I was never sure, but I do know these quirks of self, drive others crazy.

From my viewpoint, I have never sacrificed any enjoyment due to these confessed quirky habits. In fact, I would be uncomfortable changing any of them. As to reasons for them, I expect a psychoanalyst would have a field day with them and me.

Birth, life, death. A beginning, a story and an end - right?

Not so fast.

If I were not human I would likely not know or comprehend this logical sequence of events. As any other form of life on this planet I would just know and comprehend "now". No notion of my birth, a hazy notion of my life to date and no concept whatsoever of my eventual death. No historical reference for before I existed, no hopes or fears for tomorrow and no possible inkling of what comes after my physical existence. An animals reality, literally comprised of the here and now. I know I have presumed non-human life is as I have described, but I think it is a fairly safe bet to be like that.

As a non-human entity I would have instinct and keenly developed senses. I would have reactive or passive means of survival and a keen sense for feeding hunger. More than these, I would have a deep determination to procreate - no justification needed. In short, life for the sake of life, existence just because. No ending asked for, none required.

Over time I have drawn a conclusion about endings, there is no "real" ending to anything. The book stops because the author chose to. The article ends because the reporter stops reporting. The play ends because the playwright decided to conclude the work and so on and so forth. Endings as we know and think of them are purely discretional. Endings are put upon us for the sake of closure, a condition of convenience gauged to satisfy our tolerance for attention span and to bring us to an expected punch line.

This of course brings me to beginnings.

Just as endings are arbitrary so then are beginnings. Take your life for instance, if I ask when did it begin you most probably will recite your birth date.

Not so fast.

How many countless individuals, couples, generations, events, decisions and circumstances led to that magic moment of YOUR conception? Where indeed did your existence begin? I suggest it was at the moment of genesis. Genesis began the process of YOU becoming. If you did not feel particularly special until this moment I would understand. Now you have pondered the enormity of your making I hope and pray the realization of your absolute stature in the universe gives to you a proper sense of who and what you are.

Feel special, very, very special.

As with discretional endings, the author selected a point for beginning the work, the director decided a starting point for the movie the reporter selected an entry point into the article. Without authors, playwrights, movie directors, storytellers and reporters there would be no beginnings or endings – only continuations.

During the night I stepped on my cat on the staircase. I know the cat thinks I did this intentionally. After all, she could see me well enough and has no concept that my night vision is any different than hers. The eye of the beholder is often blinkered to accept their restricted reality. Heaven I understand is attainment of the highest level of enlightenment, perhaps one need not pass on to enter………………

Have you ever read something before without a beginning or ending?

Yes, it is simple like all truths are.

"Whatever you pursue gains credibility... even undeserving things."