Reference: "Brain Wave Diary" (06/14/01)

Universal Order of Navel Gazers

HI 

I have added a simple message forum at the ~(Wave)~ site.

My hope is you will enjoy starting or joining great scintillating, deep and entertaining light worker circle discussions with other fantastic people, like you, and your friends.

(There is a prize for the first 1000 brave souls to post a message and start a discussion :-).

I have called it the Navel Gazers Forum as a tribute to the ancient and mysterious art of contemplating ones navel in the quest for enlightenment and answers to the questions of "BEing".

Below, I have enclosed the fascinating heritage and art of "Navel Gazing". Please don't take it too seriously... but *S* Please feel free to circulate as you see fit.

Navel Gazing, my favourite way of contemplating creation, life, love, laughter, wonder, JOY and planters warts.

Contemplating ones navel can be paramount to a most profound personal event - I recommend n-GAZING as a modern variation of it, useful for developing centered, self health management strategies.

Reputedly, navel gazing has been known to cure a wide range of maladies such as; chronic anal retentiveness, deep glooms and oogyness, toe gout, after drinks spinners syndrome, excessive spiritual and or physical bloat AND social ineptitude, (Any cocktail party is bound to succeed wildly if someone introduces the topic), and many, many more.

Navel gazing is an almost extinct diversion having ancient and time honoured heritage and roots. I propose bringing it back into fashion and so... have hence formed the Universal Order of Navel Gazers. (UONG) Membership is absolutely free.

There is a secretive handshake though, available on request.

In order to proceed properly, we have adopted the tenets found in a recently discovered ancient document on the subject. It was mysteriously "lost" for many, many years. Also, for the purpose of sister/brotherhood we are founding a web site, it's URL can be found by sending e-mail to gazing@navel.xxx (Put "Induct Me - PLEASE" in the subject line).

Our Tenet.

This is paraphrased from a Victorian era instruction booklet called, "Linted and Lintless Navel Gazing for Discriminate Gazers" - circa 1758 or so. (We are still seeking authentication).

I think it was authored by one Iver Inney of Little Piddlecoombe, Nots., Eng.

Gazeth ye and be ONE with the light.

Be one and all attended to the manner and conventions of navel gazing. Lintless navel gazing, especially when situated on ones favorite grassy tummock, ensconced in ones favorite navel gazing garb, under a shade tree is a most precious freedom. It is a pursuit and pastime impervious to the passage of time and has been variously enjoyed by generations of contemplative souls intent on pondering all manner of ponder-able subjects. Many countless thousands of inspired thoughts, deep insights, idle and inspired conjecture have resulted from this time honored while-away.

Navel gazing is a pastime suited to both gentlemen and ladies both, although ladies must be particularly aware of the social mores and graces apt to be injured by ill prepared or poorly advised public navel gazing. Be fairly warned of this for ones fair reputation can be easily sullied if one abides not with convention. Navel gazing is oft best contained to the privacy of ones own secluded estate or holding, and best conducted while screened appropriately by thick private hedge or stone-ed wall.

Navel gazing is unencumbered by costs, taxes, tithes or dues and is free to all of linted or lintless navels. Even lint infested navels can be gazed, although it is improbable clear or crisp thoughts will transpire. One can decide before gazing whether clear or fuzzy thoughts are desirable for a particular session. One may even need to add lint to the navel if fuzzy thoughts are preferred, this should be performed judiciously avoiding unsightly gross application. In preparation, one must attire oneself to have the capacity to see ones navel clearly while reposed in a suitable, comfortable manner, usually sitting and while leaning up against the trunk of the shade tree.

One must be conscious of not offending any casual passerby through undue non-compliance to morally accepted dress codes, so one must select ones wardrobe carefully. The selected dress must afford a clear view of the navel but cover all else appropriately. Selecting a suitable navel gazing wardrobe can be more arduous than first thoughts might indicate. Appropriate time should be devoted to selecting the required wardrobe. For gentlefolk of means a special midriff flapped attire may be seamed, this is a preferable solution for the landed gentry. Those of more modest means may need to modify existing pantaloons and vestments.

Be it said sufficiently, appropriate modesty is in order.

To ensure sharply focused thoughts, if that is ones objective, one must have a lintless navel so one might see crisply and clearly what one is going to muse on and the result ones hopes to garner, whilst gazing at ones navel. Fastidious attention to navel grooming is prerequisite to success. The navel grooming should take place in ones private chambers or quarters since it is an intimate personal act. One should prepare before grooming having suitable grooming aids on hand. For those of rotund dimension of the midsection, a polished or burnished tin or reflective glass piece can aid in inspecting a hidden and cavernous navel. If the mirrored piece is held in front and tilted slightly one can see the state of affairs. A handmaiden may be useful in this operation.

Once suitably groomed about the navel and attired correctly to gaze, one should meander nonchalantly to ones navel gazing spot. Good form of the preoccupation has it that one should not flaunt or otherwise crassly advertise, by either word or action what ones intentions are. This is a private and contemplative activity and should be conducted with utmost aplomb and couth.

Discriminating navel gazers should wherever and whenever possible carry about with them various props and indeed, useful accessories in support of navel gazing. Often one might wish to disguise ones true activity so having a leather bound book for the purpose of feigning reading, a parasol or other diversionary object can be useful for both screening the true activity and serve practical purpose as the need may arise if changing ones activity focus. Several well prepared quills with sharpened nibs, ink stain liquid and a shither of manuscript can be useful for jotting down profound manifested thought had whilst engaged in gazing.

One must remember to accommodate for thirst and hunger if a prolonged session of navel gazing is contemplated so a basket of refreshment and victuals may be the order of the day. For those so afflicted, one must mind to take ones sight glass or monocle so one may appear studious and thoughtful while appearing to read ones book. In fact one may deviate to readings ones book if the session is proving less than fruitful. Ones manservant or vassal should be instructed to remain a respectful distance away from the gazing site with firm instruction to remain silent unless beckoned specifically. Horses and carriage should remain stationed at a distance conducive to maintaining a churchly silence within the vicinity of the gazing spot. Silence other than nature is a prime condition for successful contemplation.

When all considerations are duly observed, one can expect endless hours of relaxation and occasionally an inspired, insightful or profound thought may even transpire.

God speed and good tidings all ye that would navel gaze. Contemplation of ones navel is a right and righteous cause - Long live the king.

PS. A world-wide Navel Gazers convention is proposed depending on... MUCH!

"Whatever you pursue gains credibility... even undeserving things."